The Second Annual #BlerdGeekHolidayParty of 2014!

Come one and all to the 2nd Annual online Blerd Geek Holiday Party of 2014!!! The movie feature this year is TRADING PLACES with Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd!

Date and Time: Sunday, Dec. 21st at 9pm EDT.

Location: Twitter! Use Hashtag #BlerdGeekHolidayParty

Festivities:

• Live Tweeting TRADING PLACES with your hosts - @geeksoulbrother, @blackgirlnerds, @indiamovies
• Meet new Blerds, Geeks and Nerds!
• Tweet Holiday Pics! Selfies, food, crazy socks, Santa hats, etc.
• Live Podcast Chat with Me - Geek Soul Brother - and friends from 9pm to 11pm-ish. Just go to talkshoe.com at the link HERE. The number is 724-444-7444 with Call ID: 118765#

You can watch TRADING PLACES on Netflix or Amazon Prime. Grab your favorite Christmas Cheer or Holiday Beverage and come join us for fun times.

What's in a Girl's Handshake?

I was introduced to a friend of my son the other day. Let's call her Rhea.  She was very polite and reached out with a greeting open hand. When we shook hands I was surprised at how strong her grip was.  "Wow, that's a strong handshake" I said with a smile.  She replied "My father taught me well" 

I've met women with strong handshakes before, but this time my curious mind raced to analyze what was happening here.  Why was I surprised?  What did I assume?  What was Rhea trying to say with her grip, if anything at all?

I knew why I was surprised initially. Those typical dude-man assumptions I had about the roles of males and females kicked in at first.  What did Rhea say with that grip?  What anyone would normally say with it - "I respect you and look to be respected back". 

"So what do other guys say when you shake their hands? Do you get different reactions?" I asked.
Rhea answered "Some guys get a little defensive. They say 'Don't break my hand' or something like that." 

So a woman showing her confidence through a handshake should be taken as something to be defensive over?  Or maybe those guys had soft handshakes. Like those that Hip-hop centered podcaster Combat Jack calls Scarf Hands.

I know I read too much into this, as some of you readers are probably thinking. But that's what I do.  That being said, I'm fairly certain that business women have to deal with this on the daily, and on a more conscious level; balancing between 'strong, but not too strong' while dealing with some of society's double-standards.
Rhea and I talked a bit more about it before moving on to some other subject. I told Rhea that I would be writing about this split-second gesture that's so common, and yet in this case not so common. Hey Rhea! 

So ladies, have you ever been told that you have a Strong handshake?  Did it ever cross your mind?  And fellas, how did you respond to a woman with a strong handshake?  What crossed your. Mind?  Comment below.

ECBACC - EAST COAST BLACK AGE OF COMICS CONVENTION

HEY PHILADELPHIA!! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME COMIC-CON FUN?

EAST COAST BLACK AGE OF COMICS CONVENTION

THE RECEPTION / GLYPH COMIC AWARDS will be held Friday, May 16th from 6:30 p.m. until 9 p.m at the African American Museum in Philadelphia, 701 Arch Street, Philadelphia, PA 19106. 

THE COMIC CONVENTION / ECBACC will be held Saturday, May 17, from 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. at The Enterprise Center, 4548 Market Street, Philadelphia, PA 19139. $10 Fee.

"This year will mark ECBACC’s 13th year of commemorating positive Black images in comic books, comic strips, novels, films, animation, and the science-fiction, fantasy, and storytelling industry.
Please help us welcome the official 2014 ECBACC Invited Guests! Thank you, to those in front of and behind the scenes that make ECBACC a great event!"

HIT THE FACEBOOK PAGE FOR UP-TO-DATE INFO - facebook.com/ECBACC.page

Geekness and Black Culture! Where Do They Meet?

"Sun, Moon, Stars, Quasars, !@#$% sound like Elroy Jetson!" Come on, which brother you know uses the word Quasars and isn't a geek? Doughboy, your cover is Blown!  And you watch Hanna Barbara.

I think that sometimes a person's inner geek clashes with the culture they grow up with.  And I think this is especially true with African Americans.  I feel that my black people sometimes fall for the beliefs that they should look and act a certain way, and that geeks and nerds act a certain other way. In their minds one rarely looks like the other.  And let's not talk about the PoC out there that don't even realize they are under-cover geeks and nerds.  Ever strike up a conversation with a brother or sister and find out he / she collected comics, knows all kinds of characters, watched The Matrix and all the Superhero flix, gets into arguments about Twilight Zone episodes and is a serious gamer?  But if you tell them that they sound like a geek they get all defensive "Man, I'm not a geek!  I just like stuff."  No dude, no sister, you're a geek.

I love addressing people about their geek-phobic ways.   Because when they start to accept their passions for things in the geek universe, they open up their imagination and find out it's okay to tell stories and dive into their own Scifi fantasy worlds.  It gives them opportunity to find even more content, more worlds to explore.  It's a lesson that says that being a geek and being black doesn't have to be a point of denial or inner conflict.

The terms geek and nerd don't have the same connotation they used to.  Many people of all backgrounds are calling themselves a 'this' geek or 'that' nerd.  Some of that acceptance is spilling over into the black community.  But the acceptance doesn't necessarily come with plaid shirts and pocket protectors. Their geek comes with Echo, cultural dialects, new dance moves and a tight haircut.  Black people are learning how to blend their inner geek and nerd into their outer culture so they don't have to clash with themselves or the people around them.

And the epitome of the mixing of geek and black culture are manifesting in examples like Afrofuturism and SteamFunk.  There are all kinds of sites, blogs, podcasts and youtubers that express themselves and their nerdy passions with cultural flavor and flare.

I'm hoping that not too long from now the face of geekdom won't be the stereotypical pimply faced young white guy, but a person of any shade, background and gender.  The more I connect with black geeks and nerds around the internet, the more that face looks more like mine.

Are There More Black Nerdy Guys or Girls?

2014 Black Comic Book Festival

A couple weeks ago I asked twitter if they thought there were more Black Nerdy Guys or Girls out there?  I guess my mind was wandering over thoughts of how some nerdy sisters said it took them a while to embrace their nerd side, but also that some brothers may not accept that they are nerds either.  I mean, there are a lot of Black guys that read comics, watch Scifi and play all kinds of video games, but they wouldn't label themselves a nerd or geek.  And there are plenty of sisters that have in fact embraced their nerd side.  I can attest to this by just looking at who I interact with on twitter.
Now one would commonly assume that there are in fact more Nerdy guys in general than nerdy girls.  Especially with the thoughts that girls might just be 'fake geek girls'.  You don't hear much of that where fellas are concerned.  But if you just look at gaming alone, the numbers are almost 50/50 across gender.  And I'm sure there are more Black girls than Black guys that are looking at nerdtastic shows like Sleepy Hollow, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead to name a few.
Another thought was that the world is still dealing with the oximoronic state of a Black Nerd's existence.  The world still has trouble with the stereotype of who a black person is and what a nerd is.  Erkle didn't help that much because he was so over the top.  Now take the stereotypical image of a Black Woman and you deviate even further from what a nerd is defined as.
Fellow twitter users gave me some great responses. Here are a few:

First, my man Ken C. gave his direct opinion in which there was no question that there are more Black Nerd Guys than Girls -

 

That would probably be a very popular response from most brothers and sisters, but then Mr. McDuck offers a possible reason for such conclusion -

 

I have to say that Perry's reasoning holds some weight. I've heard several sisters of Afro persuasion say that when they were younger they tried to fit in and pushed their Nerd side into the background.  Outspoken Diva asked if we were talking Black Girls that openly acknowledged their nerdiness, or just ones that hide it?  I clarified for the sake of the discusion that we should consider both as one group.  This was her response -

But then Tranette offered another perspective that goes back to what I was saying about the world and its propensity to stereotype back people - 

Black girls, and all girls for that matter, can be girly and nerdy.  But because of that the lines are blurred and one would wonder if they are nerds for real.  Male culture probably holds themselves up to a more rigid definition.  But that rigidity is mostly false because of the diversity of guys and their likes and loves of nerdom.  As a matter of fact, you have guys that are nerds, but love and play sports.  You also have plenty of girls that love sports as much as they love cosplay.

If I look at my twitter followers @GeekSoulBrother,  I would say from those numbers alone that there are actually 2 to 3 times more Black Girls that consider themselves Nerds than guys.  

Another aspect that intrudes on that perception is how the mainstream nerd culture interacts and includes female nerds into the ranks.  That was reflected by HellResidentNY in his tweets - 

 

Personal Conclusion: I think there are at least as many Black girls that are nerds as guys.  And I think that the sisters are becoming more comfortable with their nerdiness as nerd culture continues to be more mainstream.  But there is still a ways to go for the world to see them (and Black guy nerds for that matter) for who they are.  And also for Black girls to see themselves as nerds and not have to answer to the ignorant dictates of nerdom.  If you want to see the rest of the tweets you can see them HERE.

But what do you think? More guys or more girls?  Comment below.

Supernatural Dating for Dummies

A Story By Shumara 'Illumeenous' Thomas

"Good Lawd!" I stood outside what could only be described as the thirteenth level of hell. No really. Living in the borough of Bed Stuy, I've seen a lot. Streets where you've got to avoid squishy used condoms like so many cracks in the sidewalk. Funky trash cans only to discover later someone's sister or son had been discarded in them like last night's leftovers. Brooklyn is a beautiful cacophony of urbanic renaissance culture and poverty stricken violence laid out on the table, a delicious casserole. This was far worse. The building before me sagged to the left, too tired to sit upright. Bricks had been haphazardly pulled out of its rotted pimple red side. The few sad windows all had gross green sewage? Trash? Dangit, some sort of putrid stains running down them. The front security door hung precariously off its hinges. By far, the BEST supernatural cover I'd seen to date. I had recently discovered upon inserting myself into the "supe" community that most of the rundown buildings throughout the five burroughs were trans-dimensional portals or spells to camouflage varying bars, clubs and eateries that humans weren't welcome in. This here though took the cake. And a bit of my lunch. Gross.

Seedy places don't really bother me. I'm usually the scariest thing lurking even though physically I'm no bigger than a postage stamp compared to most supernatural creatures. At 5'4", 110 lbs I could probably intimidate a smurf only if I wore steel toed boots . I prefer it this way. When creepy crawlies find out a petite black girl is the mixed breed mutant witch thingy stomping around; giving the Gods and the Unseelie Fairy Queen a run for their money, they tend to want to test boundaries. And jewel that I am, I have no qualms about enforcing my borders with dismemberment.

I picked my way around a bum laying in his vomit on the curb and walked up to the building; straining see the tiny ripple near the entry to signal where to push my power through. Hmmmm. I tentatively stretched out my hands to see if I could just crash through the spell and apologize later for ruining someone's handy work. Curiouser and curiouser. Ten infuriating minutes later I had to admit that there was no spell. That yes I, Lee, supernatural bad ass, had been invited to a shit hole for a blind date. Fml.

Normally this would be the part when I say I turned around and stalked my insulted ass home, muttering the entire way. So wrong. I owed a fire demon that felt I needed to quit the single life and settle down. No, I mean as in if someone had snitched on Darth and helped you save Alderon type owed. When someone helps you save a planet inhabited by millions of aliens you sit up and nod attentively. When a fire demon uses his ancient clout to refer you to a God to train you because literally every dang creature in the NYC area is gunning for you and your nerdy ass had never been in a fight before......not even with a human?  Well you pretty much say sure I'll meet his cousin's half demon son for a blind date. At a crack spot.....sigh, fml.

So knowing that I didn't have a choice, I scooted around the front door and did my best to avoid the biggest puddles of urine on the steps. I wasn't quiet sure which door to knock on until I saw a name written in Sharpie on one door on the fourth floor: Pepper. I had originally thought it was the name of the bar we were supposed to meet at.  I used a tissue I had to knock on the door. There was kelp and seaweed all around it, and some weird fungus that I wasn't willing to touch wiggling on the door knob. I knocked as gently as I could hoping no one would hear but lucky ole me, the door swung right open. Sprinkling a healthy dose of saltwater into my face. Yum.

Okay, I'm not really one for words right but I'm going to try my best to get this correct so listen closely. The best way I can describe this dude is to say what the basis of him was. Stay with me people. I'm going to say Cyclops. He was about 6'7". He had to stoop down to open the door or look at me for that matter. The eye was that startling bright blue with thick lashes. The kind girls shell out cash for. And there ends anything nice I could say. His black hair was in the stringy emo style where it fell into his gray, mottled face, uh eye...whatever. It had shellfish crawling around in it. But that wasn't as bad as the freakishly large gills he had protruding from the sides of his neck, leaking saltwater all over his dirty Ledd Zepplin tee and rotting jeans. Yes ladies and gentlemen, my blind date was a Cyclops fish hybrid. While you ponder on the implications of that tasty tidbit, I'm going to fast forward a bit because frankly some memories deserved to stay buried deep. Let's skip to the part where I've accepted my fate and gingerly sat at the roach yet somehow simultaneously dead catfish infested dinner table in the room-that-shall-not-be named where a candlelight dinner sat. Sat mere moments mind you because the water sloshing out his gills kept putting the candles out.

"Sooooo you and Kevin close," I ask. Kevin being the fire demon I planned on researching how to kill when I got home. No response.  "Umm have you lived here long?" No response. "You originally from NY?" More slow blinking. "Okaaay. Well I'm Lee by the way, and you are.." Dude just sits in the chair and stares at me, cheesing like a Cheshire cat. At least his teeth were nice, which was unnerving in its own right. I rolled my eyes heavenward and send up a prayer for strength and looked at the plates before us. Man I honestly don't know what it was. It was orange and it pulsated. There you go. At one point it moved and shot a tentacle at me and off instinct I shot it with a burst of power from my hand and exploded my plate. Orange crap on my new jacket. Winning!

"Do it again." I look up from wiping goo off my sleeves. Did he speak finally? "Excuse me," I asked. Cyclops was smiling lurridly at me. "That was so hot, do it again." "Do what?" He smiles and wiggles his eyebrows. "Use your powers. Be naughty. I like a girl with spunk." This idiot even licked his lips suggestively.

Ok, so this dude could talk? After not saying a word this entire time, now dude was chatty inappropriate ass Kathy.

"How about I don't, and instead you do something besides be creepy. That sounds more appealing to me." I flick the last orange goo near him and give him enough eyebrow for him to see I'm no longer amused.  One-eye groans and flicks his hair out of his eye, flinging more salt water at me.

" Dude can you not be disgusting for one moment? What the hell." It's been all of maybe 30 mins since this ride had started and I was ready to get off. Favors or not, Alderon was about to die. Screw them people.   One-eye frowned and tried to touch my hand.

"Don't be like that baby. I'm just trying to have fun. You don't like fun? Come sit over here by me."

It took all the home training my mother gave me not to assassinate him there on the spot.

"Please don't touch me," I managed to say between clenched teeth. "I don't know you."

One-eye flicked his tongue in and out at me, trying to look sexy with a sea urchin clinging to his nose. "Get to know me. It's what hotels are made for."

No way. "This is a hotel? Are you shitting me? You brought me to a hotel for a first date," I yelled. "A rank one at that!"

One-eye looked confused. "Yeah, I'm not bringing you to my place. Pretty certain my girl wouldn't dig that."

"You've got a girl friend?!" I smack my forehead,inadvertently poking myself in the damn eye with the hermit crab that had somehow attached itself to my sleeve. Now I probably had eye rot. "Shit," I muttered, holding my eye with one hand and rummaging around for some sanitizer in my purse with the other. But listen, now THIS is where the date goes from terrible to horrific on all accounts. Because while I'm trying to save my eye, One-eye starts gyrating at the table. Nope. You read that right. GYRATING.

"What the hell is your problem," I asked as I scampered back from the table, wanting no parts of whatever was going down.

"That is so hot!" You are so sexy," he squealed, leaning over the table. "Poke your eye again!"

Was I done you ask? Yup I was done. I got up, still holding my disease-ridden eye and grabbed my purse. "You are so lucky I can't kill you. Because I have never wanted to kill a living thing more than I do right now, at this very moment." I turned to storm out the hotel room haughtily  when I felt soggy meat on my arm. Ugh, I glanced back to have the immeasurable pleasure of seeing One-eye giving me a pained expression as he pointed to the massive boner in his jeans. Impressive, if he hadn't been sooooo  utterly repulsive.

"Baby, you're just going to leave me like this," he whined, pouting. Alderon? Meet fate. My weapon of choice is a machete. People tend to fear being cut more than shot, and the deity that served as my trainer had a thing for feeling the blood splash on him when he eviscerated his enemies. What can I say, he rubbed off on me some. I too prefer close quarters with my foes so Gretchen stays strapped to my back even with my powers. Mind you it's hard to carry a 32 inch machete around Manhattan so mine is spelled to shrink and appear when I call her name. I'd like to think he saw Gretchen coming when I severed his stupid head from his moronic body. He didn't bother to mention it because the entire time I carried his head to Kevin's pizza shop in Brooklyn, all he could sputter was how much of a dumb bitch I was. Fortunately demons can't be killed by physical weapons unless they're holy so I didn't have to break my "no killing my dates promise." Me? I felt awesome about how the date ended! Totally satisfied and seeing Kevin's face when I tossed One-eye's head into the industrial pizza oven where he was imprisoned? Priceless. Let's hope next Friday night packs as much excitement. Next time, I'll even get his name.

Graphic by Geek Soul Brother

Copyright 2013 Shumara Thomas

Podcasting: A Great Way To Meet Geeks Of Color

I started podcasting almost two years ago.  I loved it right from the start.  I'm an obsessive talker, so it was a natural fit. You can actually find my podcast(s) at Talkshoe.com. Anyway, it was a great way for my friends and I to get together each week and geek out over the latest news item or topic that we loved, like The Best Scifi Booty Calls 2.

In only a short time I started asking other people to join in as a special guest. They got to know us, and we got to know them more.  It's a great networking medium.  Podcasting is just very social and embracing.

FINDING FRIENDS YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD

In being a podcaster myself, naturally I like listening to others.   Actually I was listening to them for years now (thanks Hulkmad27).   As I was getting into the swing of podcasting, I started searching for other podcasts with people of color.   If you take the time to look, there are so many shows out there with black people talking about every topic you can think of.   Because of this I found THE BLACK GEEKS on Blogtalk Radio.  After listening to them, I started calling into their show.  Now I'm pretty much a regular.  But I don't want to tell you how I elbow my way into people's podcasts.  I'm letting you know that you can acquaint yourself with many geeks of color; men and women that talk every week about the stuff that most any geek and nerd loves to hear about.

IT'S A PODCAST PARTY

Let me paint you an even better picture of how listening, calling in, and even doing your own podcast can help black geeks or blerds come together.   I had found NERDGASM NOIRE NETWORK'S podcast months ago.  Five Geeks, Five Opinions, One Podcast.  They are a bunch of Crazy funny ladies that deliver a dish of Nerdalicious every week.   In listening to their archive shows, I could see the similarities between them and THE BLACK GEEKS.   Through my love for getting people together, and keeping the nerd party going, I had the idea of bringing these two podcasts together on my show.  If you want to hear what insane hilarity ensued CLICK HERE.  The point is, if it weren't for at least listening to, or starting my own podcast, I would most likely not have found such great geeks that I could connect with, and give opportunity for others to network also.  It absolutely destroys the feeling that you're an isolated black geek in the geek mainstream.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE HOME

There is a cultural connection when I listen to THE BLACK GEEKS, SIDEBAR NATION, BROWNSKIN AND GLASSES, or BLACK GIRL NERDS that I don't find in the other podcasts I listen to.  It doesn't mean I don't enjoy my brother and sister podcasters from the other side of the melanin line, but there is a sense of home when you hear culture and nerdiness mixed together.  They feel like friends you never met before.  So if you haven't listened to a podcast, go to itunes, Stitcher Radio, Podcast Ally or Podomatic and just do a search for black geeks, black nerds, blerds or nerds of color.   Ask friends what they listen to.  If you find one you like, let them know you're listening and enjoying their show.  That means a lot to us podcast hosts.  Stay tuned for a post on how you too can start your own nerdy podcast, or any type you want.

Let's Get Social!

I'm the first one to tell you that I wasn't the social media flag bearer from the start. I was hesitant to jump into something that felt like it was opening up my personal life for the whole world to see. But then a friend created a myspace account for me and modern day phobias started to subside.

This same friend threatened to make a Facebook profile for me, but I beat him to it so as not to have him make me look like a nut or put Too Much Info on my page. We're still friends, but he can't touch any of my profiles, or action figures.
The social network that I embraced the most has been Twitter. If you haven't used twitter yet, it's probably because you have the same reservations that I did "What can you say in 140 character snippets?" I had a personal twitter account which I tried, but didn't use. Then, after I started blogging on the regular (geeksoulbrother.com) I created one for my site - @geeksoulbrother. Now I'm kicking myself for not diving into twitter much earlier than I did.

Let me back up a bit.  I'm a mix of introvert and extrovert.  Growing up, I didn't like big gatherings where it was expected to know everybody.  But then I would be loud and animated with close friends and enjoyed getting the attention.  Now, having walked the road of life for many miles, things have flipped.  I learned how to talk in crowds and gatherings, give speeches and presentations, and be able to spark up a discussion about current politics or the current superhero film (more the latter).

Social media was the next thing I had to conquer.  I mean, how was I going to start writing scripts, or develop media projects, or even start a blog if I was worried about what people thought of my writing and opinions?

I started with Facebook because, well they are suppose to be your family and friends, right?  If you can't sound stupid or crazy in front of them, who can you?  I found that people aren't as critical as one might think.  Of course that depends on how far you put yourself out there.  I tend to put myself out pretty far, sometimes without meaning to.  But it still worked out because I could go to my next steps, which were blogging, podcasting, and being on Youtube.

Back to getting social and twitter.  Unlike Facebook or Google+ or many other social networks, twitter is built for people to know people, quickly and without worry.  To socialize with people at a safe distance, yet have comfortable conversations with strangers.  You know that cashier that you talk to almost every time you go to the store?  The one that likes horror movies, has kids, asks about your day, leaves you with a joke?  That's twitter.  But it's much more.  I've met people that have helped me promote my site, gotten celebrity guest because of it, connected with black and non-black geeks that I would never have met any other way.  In fact, because of a conversation I had on twitter, I came up with this site as part of the next gap to fill for the black geek community.

I kept reading tweets about geeks who were black and didn't know that there were whole communities out there that they could connect with.  I referred to them in a post on my other blog as 'Islands of Afro-Awkwardness floating in the caucazoid sea of geekdom.'   They were geeks and could hang with fellow geeks, but didn't find that added cultural aspect to share over.

So here we are with BLACK GEEKS MEET, one answer to the call of 'Where are all the Black Geeks At?'  And this isn't the only answer, nor the first by far.  There are plenty of communities that are social gathering places for black geeks and nerds.  My online friends and fellow bloggers Black Girl Nerds and The Black Geeks, or Black Science Fiction Society were answering the call well before this site.  But the mission is specific - help black geeks know about each other, get out of their shell, find a virtual geek home, and give a platform to network and encourage each other.  Maybe BGM will become a full networking site, maybe even a place to find a geek date that likes sweet potato pie.  Personally, I hope it is able to help in all of those categories.  There is nothing as refreshing (socially) as seeing Black men and women connecting on different levels at once - culturally and intellectually while getting their Nerd on!  I love a good Nerdy conversation.

So let's get social and see where it takes us all in life!

TIPS FOR DATING NERDY BLACK GIRLS

A Tweeting Black Girl Nerd

For a Nerdy Girl, what's worse than being seen as a unicorn? A rare species, only thought of as a Myth by the world that surrounds them?  I tell you what is worse.  Being a species that even the unicorns think are a myth - Black Unicorns.  A black girl or women that is a nerd to the core.  Even in the geek community, this combination of Black+Girl+Nerd is almost seen as an oxymoron.  And to set the record straight, I'm not trying to say Unicorns are White (or other) girls and black Unicorns are Black girls.  They are all unicorns by mainstream standards.  Just wanted to give an analogy.

The general stereotypes that Black Women have to deal with are that they are - angry, loud, video vixens, curvy sex objects.  Even when a black girl is shy or introverted, the last thing the general population might label her with is being Nerdy.

I started the twitter tag #BlackGirlNerdDatingTips on a whim.  My friend Jamie of Blackgirlnerds.com runs a Jem and the Holograms live tweet every Saturday night at 7pm est. (#JemLiveTweet). If you don't know what Live Tweeting is, then unlike me you probably have a productive life.  Jamie, on the other hand, can multitask like a gangster.

Anyway, as the live tweeting was coming to a close I thought to myself "What would a guy have to know in order to date a Black Girl that was Nerdy?"  I started the hashtag just to see what would happen.  For those that don't know, hashtags are searchable topics on twitter that let you be part of a conversation, joke or rant. That's how live-tweeting a show or film works also.  Of course I included @blackgirlnerds in my tweets because if Jamie picked it up, I knew it would snowball.  I also wanted to see what kind of answers my sisters of geekdom would come up with.

What I didn't anticipate was the self-love, community love, and support that the tag would generate among the nerdettes. I'm not taking credit for this.  I'm marveling that such a simple thing could be an avenue of expression and release of frustration to the myths and bias assumptions the world thinks about black women.  The sentiments of the women were "I'm not settling for ..." and "This is what I like! Deal or Step!". It wasn't nasty, but fun and cynical at the same time.  It was a filter that said if you wanted to date them, this is what they were about.  And what they were about was everything from Dragon Ball Z to Action Figure collecting to Finishing Anime Quotes.  It was more than an opportunity to joke about dating tips.  It became a road to sharing and validating themselves to each other, to non-geek guys, and to everybody else out there.

Many ladies said it was an important tag, and that type of response I was not expecting.  I read tweets like "one of the best Tags ever" and "I had a bad day but #BlackGirlNerdsDatingTips made it better."  Being able to be a part of something that made a person feel better is its own reward.

Trending on twitter isn't a big thing for the most part.  It's when a hashtag topic is being tweeted so much that Twitter moves it up the ranks of suggestions to tweet about.  Then other people see it and join in the conversation.  I will admit, I was proud that it trended (with the help of Jamie), but also because a bunch of Black Nerdy Girls were giving themselves a voice that others could hear.

The best thing for me was the comedic quality to the whole thing.  Even though there was a serious layer behind it, the tweets were just pure entertainment to all involved.  And yeah, reading all those tweets from my sisters of color getting their nerd full-on had me developing about a hundred+ twitter crushes in the six hours it was trending.

I want more hashtags now.  I want more events and media coverage for my Nerdy Black Sisters that are unique, hilarious, loving and spirited.  There is no difference between them and anybody else that wants to be understood and accepted for who they are. It's a general struggle for geeks everywhere, Black Girl Nerds have it even harder.

HERE ARE THE #BlackGirlNerdDatingTips TWEETS THAT I COLLECTED THROUGH STORIFY.

How Senses Can Mislead You to Picking that Right Geek!

 MAYBE THE PROBLEM IS YOUR SENSES WOLVERINE!.

I hear all the time about someone that says they always choose the wrong person.  They initially get attracted to somebody, but then find out that person didn't have what they were looking for, i.e. a heart. There are many reasons that one can choose the right or wrong person to date.  But when it comes to the senses, there is one clear cut purpose - Find the best person to reproduce with.  Is that why Wolverine can't find a decent girl?

A geek has to be extra careful about what their body is telling them when they are attracted to a guy or a girl.  Sure we want to be with someone that's really attractive.  But the average geek or nerd needs a bit more intellectual and nerdy stimulation than the common troglodyte.  So geeks and nerd have to circumvent some of the signals that their eyes, ears, nose and skin are telling them about the hunk or hottie they're trying to talk to.

I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called THE SCIENCE OF SEX APPEAL.  It was a little dated, but not more than the evolutionary traits that drive us to choose a mate.  Let me break down some of the eye opening information they dropped in the film.

THE OVULATING JAW LINE

Things that women biologically get attracted to are strong jaw lines, broad shoulders and a bravado when men walk.  This impulse is especially intense when a woman is ovulating. During this time, a woman's body is set to mate with an Alpha male on a physical level.  But a geek probably would find it more fulfilling to have an Alpha male on a mental level.  Well, the body doesn't speak geek, so fangirls may have to override their own visual signals so they make good choices for dates... and stuff. Ironically, the film also mentioned that outside of ovulation, women can be attracted to less 'manly' features, almost feminine in cases.

On the other side, Men find women that are ovulating more attractive because of subtle changes in their face and body.  The cheeks get more round and blush. The skin looks healthier, and I think the film said the breasts and hips get rounder.  Women might use this to their advantage, or they might like it when guys get attracted to them on their 'off time'.  And depending on what the woman (and the guy she meets) is comfortable with concerning sex on the cycle, it might not be the best time to Seal the Deal.  Of course, biologically it is the perfect time.

TESTOSTERONE AND ESTROGEN SPEAK TO THE EARS

Another topic from the film was how Testosterone and Estrogen change the body during puberty.  Other than physical traits, the hormones effect the vocal chords.  With more testosterone, men's voices get deeper.  The more the estrogen in a woman, the higher the voice.  Our brains actually look for deeper voices in men and higher voices in woman.  The pitch signals to us that those people along the lower and higher ranges are more suited to mate with.  It's pretty common knowledge that guys with deep voices make many women shake at the knees.  And everybody knows that woman come off more attractive with that innocent sounding feminine voice.  Now if you're a girl or a guy, and you want to use this biological mating trait to your advantage, i.e. sex, a ring, a car, a playstation 4... lower your pitch for a guy, or raise your pitch for a girl you are talking to.  If you're gay, try the reverse... I think.  Just remember that if you're on the receiving end of an attractive voice, don't let it sway you in making a wrong decision about a date or something. Use your well developed geek mind.

MONEY MAKE THE GIRL GO AROUND

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not calling all you sisters gold-diggers or anything. Even Mario coin gold-diggers.  But on a biological scale, power and leadership in a man are very attractive traits to a woman.  In the film, scientists did a comparison of men where women rated their looks from 1 to 10. Then they took the pictures and showed them to other women, but with fictitious yearly salaries next to them.  What they found was that a man with a higher salary moved up the rating scale from their previous rating.  And men with lower salaries moved down, even though they rated high.

If you use an analogy of animals, and how they battle for female attention, the reason why women are attracted to confidence is because it appears that the guy won some contest of ability against another male.  In the human world, women might not even be interested in the competition itself, but just in the victor.  But I'm thinking in the geek world, women are just as attracted to the competition.  A video game, a Star Trek vs. Star Wars debate, or a LARPing campaign could be a turn-on just as much as the guys playing them. Especially if the ladies are a part of the competition.  To me, that's the perfect situation.

Strictly on a biological scale, a woman looks for a man that has the power to provide.  But If a geek is using their head, they will look for power represented in the geek universe. That could be I.Q., knowledge of Doctor Who, or just being a leader of other geeks.  Or maybe the woman isn't attracted to those alpha qualities at all, but just to the heart, mind and soul of a guy.  Be mindful and don't let your biological reactions to a guy's financial prowess mislead you to a bad move when it comes to finding somebody attractive.

And also for the guys, you should embrace whatever area that you are the winner in. And walk a walk exudes the confidence you receive from that winning environment.

SENSE DO THE TALKING, LET YOUR GEEK DO THE WALKING

Now if you geeks are just looking for a quick game of ROUND 1: SEX, then by all means, follow your instincts and the qualities you are attracted to.  Just don't get yourselves hurt in the process.

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to a person on a physical level.  Our bodies are part of who we are. We're humans, or homo-superior for some of you.  You still have millions of years of DNA development that's telling you (or screaming) that you should pick guy or girl A over guy or girl B.  Overcome some of that genetic chatter with some mental chatter of your own.  Take in the person you're attracted to as a whole and look at them as a complete person.  I'm talking to you fellas and well as the ladies.  I've seen you nerd and geek guys get all flustered when you see a hot gamer or comic empress walk into the shop.  Take control of those 5 alarm fires that are your body's signals telling you that it is time to have sex.  Strike up a casual conversation without being pushed to get some.  A little goes a long way.

And to the lady geeks, give yourselves time to listen to the words a brother has to say, and not if his deep Barry White vocals knock you out like Blackbolt just said something to you.  And there is nothing wrong with a strong jaw line, but it's even better for you intellectual sisters to find that strong mind.  Don't let your body make you pass up on an opportunity to get to know someone that can give your a more meaningful relationship down the road.

Side note: The only thing I didn't appreciate about the film is that they only seemed to be using caucasians for testing.  There were a couple of brothers and sisters of color in the speed-dating segment, but for the most part attraction was being tested on white faces and bodies.  Actually I'm partially wrong.  They references an African tribe that uses speech to attract mates.  And a Latin group to reference female attraction to guys with nice cars.  You know, maybe we need our own Science of Sex Appeal documentary.  But biology doesn't have much color built into it.  The science was still interesting.

How to Handle Criticism! From Family, Friends and Geeks.

STOP CRITICIZING ME HUDSON!

If you look at a lot of science fiction films, where a group of people are in danger, you will always see that one character that has something to say about the how the leader is leading the group.  Or you have the guy that's trying to build the next space warp engine, but everybody is saying it can't be done.  We may not be fighting aliens everyday, but there are many days when we are just minding our business, trying to create or produce something, and a person passes by and says "You're doing it wrong."

We get hit with criticism all the time.  Especially if we're doing something that's creative and takes vision.  Ironic that it is called 'vision', because often people have trouble seeing it.  Anyway, you could get criticism from your neighbor over how you cut the lawn "You're not doing it Right." Geeks are probably the worst to get criticism from. Yeah, we know a lot, but it doesn't mean we know everything.

Most of the time our natural instinct is to react against criticism with a negative response -"You don't know what you're talking about."  Or you might give an excuse as to why you're doing something the way you choose to do it. The excuse might be valid, but if it is just your knee-jerk reaction to people when they criticize you, then you may be missing an opportunity for improvement.

WHEN IT IS NOT A CRITICISM

The difference between a criticism and a critique is that criticisms are usually some type of shallow advice.  People that criticize don't highlight any problems you may have in your work, and don't leave you with suggestions that help you reach your goal.  Critiques on the other hand give you advice that you can use.

One way to turn a criticism into a critique is to ask the person "What do you mean?"  Initially that will help any negative reactions you might have.  It gives you time to think about what was said.  Second, you might get the advice you need to improve your work or project.  Those 4 simple words can change the conversation, and possibly the success of your work. Now if that person can't explain their criticisms, which is usually the case if they are just hating, tell them that it's not much of a help if they can't say what's wrong.  After that you can pull out your official HATER stamp.

CRITIQUE THE CRITIC

As people explain the problem they see in your work, ask yourself if the criticism or critique is coming from a place of knowledge, experience or emotion.  Think about how much this person knows about the artistry or skills needed for your project.  Does he or she have more experience than you with this kind of work?  Or is this person bothered by what you are doing or how you are doing it?  Are they speaking from a place of fear that something will turn out wrong?  Are they embarrassed that you are doing something different and you might look... foolish? God forbid you embarrass them in the process.  Or are they concerned because they have done it before and want you to learn from their mistakes? Depending on what you conclude, you can console them or ignore them.  Just make sure they explain to your satisfaction.  In that way, you both will realize if they are speaking from ignorance, emotion or experience.

THERE'S A LITTLE GOLD IN THE ROCKS

One of the important things is make sure you aren't dismissing something that might help you, even though the criticism may be hard to take.  There may be a little gold in all that dirt that's being kicked at you.  Don't let your pride pay the price for a failed or sub par project that might have been successful.  If a criticism is hard to take, respond, but let it sink in for a day or two.  Let the cream rise to the top.  This is especially good for those of us that just go against eeeeeeeverything that people say to us all the time.  I get like that sometimes.  Don't shoot yourself in the foot.

GET IT FROM THE REAL DEAL

If you want critiques, get them from experts.  Not your family, not your friends, not the brothers in the barbershop (unless it's about cutting hair obviously).  Don't ask someone about something they don't know about.  Because if they say your work is good, you're just getting a pat on the head from someone that cares about you.  And if they say your work is bad, they won't really know what the heck they are talking about.  An expert can see where your level is at, and how your work can progress or improve.  They can give you helpful tips instead of guesswork that 'sounds good.'

But even in the case of good critiques, sometimes we have to do things our way.  We are unique, and we may just do things different from how the world does it (that's another topic on how we are built).  Remember, there are times when we just have to do things the wrong way, but that might be the only way we can learn how to do it.

Don't let the haters get to you.  Find the gold in every criticism.  Don't let being offended get in the way of your success.

Funky Q' Review - NEWLYWEEDS (2013)

I don't know how many film reviews I'll post on BGM, because I concentrate on Black Geeks Meeting, or dating, or networking, or having relationships.  But I watch a lot a movies... and TV.  And if there's a film that I think Black Geeks would like, and would want to get together to watch, on like a movie date night or something, I'll be posting it here.  They won't necessarily be films featuring black actors, or even scifi, but most definitely they will be interesting to you geek brothers and sisters. I call this a Funky Q' Review because I didn't see it in theaters, so the film ended up in my queue.  By the way, it's on Netflix streaming (as of this posting).

NEWLYWEEDS - This film that caught my attention early last year.  I remember after watching the trailer how quirky and cute the story looked with two black leads playing a young coupling dealing with their ups and downs while getting high.

Lyle and Nina are a young people living together, working, enjoying life and love, and getting high. They love smoking weed and spending time telling each other their dreams.  But things start to go a little crazy when their devotion to their Mistress, Mary Jane, gets them thrown into life's troubles.

NEWLYWEEDS is light on drama, but also doesn't dip into many gags that a weed film might be known for.  Amari Cheatom and Trae Harris give good performances as the nonchalant Lyle and Nina.  The acting convinces us that they love each other, but makes us wonder if it's just the joints they share, or something deeper.  You're not sure where the relationship will go, especially with Lyle seemingly addicted not to the marijuana, but escapism.  It's a theme that culminates in the film.  The ending is a little artsy, but it was fitting.  Director Shaka King has a good sense of character, soft comedy and slice-of-life storytelling.